:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
