i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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