And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
