I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
