why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
