my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
