You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Randomize
