he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
