Operation Purity has been aborted
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
