Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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