just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
