i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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