Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
