if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
