my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
