i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i've created a new STD.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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