I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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