OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
