dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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