Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
wanna go halves on a baby?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
