Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
