i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just blew my weed a kiss
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
