Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
