You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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