if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
