On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
