Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Randomize
