your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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