ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
