You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
