It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Blood and glitter go together right?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
