32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Everyone says I win the strip club
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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