Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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