i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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