he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
