Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize