lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I wear drunk well.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
