NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
