Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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