can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
