How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
