After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
