Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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