tell your sister to shave her snatch
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
