Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
it's great music for shaving your balls
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize