I must be too annoying 4 u.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
