I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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