You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
