i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm just crazy horny about you
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
