there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize