just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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