Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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