she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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