pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
