Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
