I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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