How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize