His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
