His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The air taste purple.
Randomize
