# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
