yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
