How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
